One of the most well-meaning but ineffective questions managers ask is: What do you need? 

On the surface, it looks supportive. But in practice, it often lands flat, especially for neurodivergent people who are masking, unsure, or afraid of being labelled difficult. 

When you ask someone what they need, you're putting the burden of the solution on the person experiencing the problem, often without them knowing what options exist. 

It assumes the employee is confident, informed, and comfortable being vulnerable. Many aren't. 

That's why we teach managers to reframe. Instead of asking for a fully formed request, ask about the experience: 

• What's been difficult lately? 

• Or what parts of the day feel most draining? 

These questions signal care without pressure. Better yet, offer informed suggestions: 

• Some people benefit from having meeting agendas in advance. 

• Others find regular 1:1 check-ins helpful. 

Do either of those sound useful? 

This shifts the tone from solve your own problem to let's work through this together. 

That alone builds trust. And from trust, you get honesty. You get clarity. You get adjustments that work because they're designed collaboratively. 

In our training, we give teams structured tools for these conversations: We use the WMW framework, designed initially for NHS Occupational Health clinicians to teach Language that replaces vague questions with practical starting points.

Framing tools using Which Means What to turn requests into action with purpose 

We've used these tools across sectors from retail to finance to healthcare. 

The feedback is consistent: people finally feel seen, supported, and empowered to have better conversations without needing a diagnosis or a script. 

Because at its core, an adjustment conversation isn't about rights. It's about understanding. It's not about ticking legal boxes. It's about keeping good people in good work. And when you ask better questions, you get better outcomes. Every time.

Inclusion isn't about adding more tools to a list but understanding your people's lived experience. 

When we frame adjustments in context and explore purpose, teams respond better.

People open up. Solutions stick. 

Want your managers to lead better adjustment conversations? 

Get in touch to explore how our training quickly shifts from theory to practice.